<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Pieces Into Place by violetholdsme</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26265610">Pieces Into Place</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetholdsme/pseuds/violetholdsme'>violetholdsme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>love is golden, like daylight [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pentagon (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Breakup, Flashbacks, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Moving On, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:54:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26265610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetholdsme/pseuds/violetholdsme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shinwon tried to let go of the pieces of Hyunggu that still felt like home. Hyunggu knew he couldn’t, so he put those pieces in their rightful place instead.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adachi Yuto/Kang Hyunggu | Kino, Kang Hyunggu | Kino &amp; Ko Shinwon, Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Ko Shinwon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>love is golden, like daylight [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pieces Into Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>another side to the story of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24505903">A Part of Me That You Didn’t Touch</a>, you’ll probably need to read that first to understand this one :’)</p><p>based on <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/6GNRkaWUB0Lwc19SdkTgx8?si=PB6ys4pPTDue-BZ7VSAdYQ">All Too Well</a> by Taylor Swift. title is from the song as well.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gentle wisps of cold air hit Shinwon in the face the moment he walked through the doors of the small café. Despite the months that had gone by without him gracing the establishment with his presence, it was eerily familiar — wistful — in  the way that an abandoned place could still feel like home, or at least a shadow of what’s left of it. </p><p>It takes only a moment for him to spot Hyunggu, his head of now-brown curls swaying, moving unconsciously to the beat of the ambient music on the speakers. The younger boy was at the table by the window where they always used to sit, hand cupped around a pink milkshake, looking like he had all the time in the world and then some. Shinwon forced down a smile when he walked over, hand fisted in the light pink sweater he brought to return to his ex-lover. It was the last piece of Hyunggu that he had, and today he would hand it over to seal the deal. It had been nearly seven months, anyway. Just like that.</p><p>“Hey,” Shinwon began, offering the piece of clothing out in front of him. “I think this is yours.”</p><p>Hyunggu reached out reluctantly, his touch feather-light on the fabric as he replied.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p><br/>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>
  <em> 1. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Shinwon had long forgotten about keeping both his hands on the wheel. It was nearly impossible with how electric Hyunggu’s presence was, coursing into his veins as he sang along to the tune on the radio, hands up like there wasn’t a roof over their heads. Hyunggu always enjoyed their drives on the open road this way, as if he was cruising down the freeway in a convertible with the wind in his hair, and Shinwon no longer tried to hide his fondness as he smiled and let loose and even sang along with the younger boy. His right hand rested on his boyfriend’s knee, holding firm like he was trying to keep Hyunggu in place because he probably could have floated away with how high up in the clouds he was. Shinwon was in love with it. He could get drunk on Hyunggu’s happiness and he wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shinwonie, stop the car.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Wh– now? Why?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Just trust me.” </em>
</p><p><em> Shinwon did, and he pulled over at the first shoulder on the freeway, just a few kilometers away from their exit. Hyunggu made a grab for him the moment the engine was off and only the radio was there to fill the silence. Hyunggu pulled Shinwon into him from the passenger seat, hand behind his neck as he went in for a kiss, deep and passionate and Shinwon met him halfway with no resistance, enjoying the feeling and the view and Hyunggu. The smaller boy quickly made a move to straddle Shinwon in the driver’s seat, accidentally honking the horn more than once. They laughed it off, just looking into each other’s eyes, maybe even at the surfaces of their souls, touching, kissing, holding. Shinwon says his boyfriend’s name more than once, more breathy utterances than coherent thoughts, </em> Hyunggu, Hyunggu, Hyunggu, <em> and there’s really no place he’d rather be. </em></p><p><em> It was the same carefree kind of driving on the way back to Hyunggu’s apartment, only a bit more care</em>less <em> and dangerous because Hyunggu’s bubbling laughter and that </em> goddamn <em> beam of a smile distracted Shinwon way too much. The proof was in the red lights that Shinwon barely stopped himself from driving past, only being forced back into focus by Hyunggu’s voice because it was probably the only thing more beautiful than his doe eyes and kiss-swollen lips.  Shinwon felt like they could be anywhere as long as they were together, that anything that was Hyunggu’s could make any place a home. </em></p><p>
  <em> That was 3 months into their relationship. Shinwon thinks it was probably the last time they were happy together.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>
  <em>2. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That’s Hyunggu when he was a little baby. Isn’t he so cute?” </em>
</p><p><em> Hyunggu’s mother was cooing over photo albums with him, and Shinwon agreed — Hyunggu </em> was <em> a cute baby. His eyes were round and looked like they held years’ worth of light, almost the same as they looked in the present, if not just a little less tired. Said boy was in the kitchen, making tea at his mother’s request, because Shinwon was a guest and Hyunggu had mentioned to him before that their household took pride in how they treated their guests. Tea, simple pastries, kind smiles and old photo albums — and yeah, Shinwon pretty much agreed with that too. </em></p><p><em> Shinwon almost felt bad, looking at the photos and chatting with Hyunggu’s mom like they had all the time in the world, as if they both expected that there would be a long-stretching future for Shinwon and Hyunggu, because </em> why the hell else would Hyunggu bring him home if not, right? <em> He was both relieved and a bit anxious that Hyunggu had never mentioned much to his mother about their relationship, except that Shinwon was his boyfriend and he had been for six months. When he thought about it, there really wasn’t much else to mention. Nothing, if not petty arguments, fights that occurred almost too often to be normal. It was relieving because Hyunggu’s mother was under the impression that Shinwon made her son happy. It was ten times more frightening, though, because that was an overused white lie at best, and they were used to telling it to themselves but this was likely the first time they had used it on someone else. </em></p><p>
  <em> They had gotten good at pretending. There wasn’t really any other way to go, because they were in love, and neither of them wanted to admit that everything was going to shit so early in the game, so they stayed, and they hurt each other, and they kissed and made up and that was that. Except Shinwon knew that at some point, it wouldn’t suffice to just keep pretending anymore. He was pretty sure that Hyunggu knew it, too. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Jasmine tea for mom, and peppermint for Shinwonie.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Thanks, Ggu.” </em>
</p><p><em> There was Hyunggu’s billion-dollar smile again, genuine and kind, pulling Shinwon in almost enough to forget that the boy that plopped beside him on the couch was the same one he had just fought with, before they came here. Because Shinwon didn’t </em> want <em> to come here. Hyunggu didn’t tell his mother that, either. </em></p><p>
  <em> Maybe Shinwon would try to pretend until he wasn’t pretending anymore. Because he loved Hyunggu way too much to let him go. And really, what kind of asshole meets his boyfriend’s parents and comes into their home and drinks their tea and looks at their family photos, knowing full well that they’d only break each other’s hearts in the long run? </em>
</p><p><em> He would at least </em> try <em> not to. </em></p><p> </p><p>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>Both their hands were on the sweater for a split-second, the tension eating Shinwon alive. </p><p>“It was nice seeing you again. I think I’ll go now.”</p><p>Shinwon said the words, but his hand didn’t let go. Hyunggu noticed. He always did.</p><p>“Stay for a while.”</p><p>It made Shinwon feel pathetic, really, how his cheeks burned up ever so slightly at the offer. He pulled out a stool anyway, sitting down beside his ex-boyfriend who set the sweater down on the table. It bridged the space between them almost perfectly, a foot of fabric or maybe less, separating their arms where they rested on the table’s polished wood.</p><p>“How have you been, Hyunggu?”</p><p>“Good, actually,” he replied, sheepish. “And you?</p><p>Shinwon was happy for him. Maybe a little bit jealous, too, but he was happy.</p><p>“Not so good.”</p><p>Hyunggu hummed, just an acknowledgement. “Sorry.”</p><p>He said it like it was from a script, a formality. He said it like he didn’t mean it, and it was fine. Shinwon didn’t want him to.</p><p>“No,” he sighed, shoulders slumping as he stared at the people walking past the café window. “<em>I </em> should be the one saying sorry to <em> you</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>
  <em> 3. </em>
</p><p><em> Hyunggu loved to dance. Sometimes, Shinwon felt like it was all that they did. Dance, dance, dance. They danced in their living room, in fire exit stairwells, in other people’s kitchens at parties, and they danced, danced, danced, always danced around their </em> fucking <em> feelings, and it was enough to drive anyone insane. </em></p><p><em> Hyunggu was tired, spacing out while they swayed to music he probably couldn’t hear. Shinwon knew he had a temper, it always caught up to his mouth before his fucking </em> brain <em> could. </em></p><p>
  <em> “What’s wrong with you again?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He only really meant to say the first two words. </em>
</p><p><em> “What’s wrong </em>with me? Again?”</p><p>
  <em> Obviously, Hyunggu was heartbroken. Shinwon saw it in his eyes, but he was too tired himself, too lost in his own worries to think about patience. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re always so sad. Why are you always so fucking sad?” </em>
</p><p><em> Shinwon didn’t know if he was trying to get a rise out of him. If he just wanted to hurt him. If he wanted Hyunggu to </em> finally <em> just say ‘</em>because of you.’</p><p>
  <em> “Am I not allowed to be sad? Tired? Is that not allowed now, Shinwon?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What are you even tired of? Tell me!” </em>
</p><p><em> “I don’t know!” Hyunggu started to cry. “Me. I’m tired of </em> me <em> .” </em></p><p>
  <em> “Well, what am I supposed to do about it?!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Nothing! Just — nothing.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Shinwon didn’t care. At least, that’s what he told himself when the next words slipped out of his mouth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Good. ‘Cause I’m fucking tired, too.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hyunggu ran out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> They weren’t the same after that. Shinwon knew that Hyunggu went out to the bar with his friends, drinking and probably cursing Shinwon’s name like they did every other time they had an argument, but this was different. This time, Hyunggu didn’t come home the next day. They didn’t say sorry and sweep it under the rug and pretend everything was fine. Shinwon was used to Hyunggu saying ‘I love you’ to try and win him over, only for him not to say it back. But this time, there really wasn’t anything to say back at all. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> This time, Shinwon realized what he had taken for granted. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And he wondered what happened at the bar that finally made Hyunggu tick. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>Shinwon repeats it in his mind, over and over. <em> I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. </em></p><p>“It’s okay,” Hyunggu says, and his smile is genuine, not a hint of bitterness in his tone. “It’s behind us, right?”</p><p>“Right.” <em> Not really, </em>is what Shinwon wanted to say, because Hyunggu always forgave him too easily, and he felt like he had a lifetime’s worth of crimes on his back that he had to atone for. Because he hurt Hyunggu, more than once. Whether it was the things he said, or those he failed to.</p><p>“Shinwon, you know I don’t hate you. You know that, right?”</p><p>Shinwon almost gave in right then and there, almost indulged in that comfort though he knew it was no longer rightfully his. But maybe it never was.</p><p>“You should. You should hate me, Hyunggu.”</p><p>“Yeah, I should.” He smirks. “You were a shitty boyfriend.”</p><p>Shinwon knew he was joking, but tears were forming in his eyes anyway. He tried to will them away, if only for the sake of pride. Hyunggu noticed, of course. He always did.</p><p>“Hey, now. None of that. I just kinda wish we didn’t date. We would’ve been great friends.”</p><p>Shinwon hates it, that feeling of hope. He hates that he wants it, hates that he lets himself crave it, lets himself crave more of Hyunggu, maybe even more than he did when he actually <em> had </em>him. That’s what he hates the most.</p><p>But he wants it, nonetheless. He’ll take what he can get.</p><p>“Are we not friends now?”</p><p>Hyunggu considers it, a multitude of expressions crossing his face before he settles on an answer. “You have to let go of me first. You have to let go of <em> us</em>.”</p><p>Shinwon felt like his heart was breaking all over again.</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>“That’s the hard part, Shinwonie.” Hyunggu stares right out the window, blank and almost cold. “<em>I </em> already have.”</p><p> </p><p>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>
  <em> 4. </em>
</p><p>Desperate. <em> That’s what Shinwon was when he scrambled to pick up the phone when Hyunggu called. It was stupid that his heart sunk straight to the floor when Hyunggu asked him to meet up at their old spot at the mall, telling him to bring his old things so Hyunggu could take them back where they belonged. They didn’t belong in Shinwon’s apartment anymore. They had been broken up for almost a month. Shinwon didn’t even know why some part of him wished Hyunggu was calling to take him back. </em></p><p>
  <em> It was an underwhelming goodbye, brief and nearly wordless when Shinwon handed Hyunggu the small box of his things. Shinwon was too consumed in bitterness, which he knew now was probably just dutifully disguised regret. He didn’t hug Hyunggu goodbye or wish him well, just flashed him his fakest smile and asked ‘will you be fine?’ as if Hyunggu would start believing that he cared now, and then he was on his way. Hyunggu had someone to pick him up, apparently, so they left it at that. </em>
</p><p><em> Shinwon knew that Hyunggu definitely didn’t know he was still there, watching from a faraway bench while he tried not to break down crying. Hyunggu definitely didn’t know, because he was getting on the back of a motorcycle that Shinwon knew could only belong to Adachi Yuto, and Hyunggu was hugging his waist and leaning into him, nearly melting. Shinwon didn’t know what to make of it. Hyunggu looked like he felt safe, content, at ease, like he had already made peace with the past while Shinwon was still clinging onto it so desperately. Hyunggu looked like he was more than ready to just up and speed on the freeway with someone new, with </em> him, <em> with Adachi Yuto, and— </em></p><p>
  <em> Oh.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That’s what happened at the bar. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>Hyunggu had already let go. Shinwon already knew that. But for some stupid reason, he was too stubborn to do the same.</p><p>“Found someone better already, Hyunggu-ya?”</p><p>Hyunggu tensed at the nickname, scowling slightly. “Don’t do that. I swear.”</p><p>“I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s not my place.”</p><p>Shinwon didn’t expect Hyunggu to reach out for one of his hands, and that’s probably why he flinched back when he did; Hyunggu didn’t seem surprised, though, easing Shinwon into it like he memorized him, and Shinwon tries to entertain the idea that Hyunggu <em> did. </em>They still memorized some parts of each other. They had been together a year and a half, and those days would always be intertwined.</p><p>“I found someone, Shinwon. I’m not telling you because I want your <em> permission</em>, or think I need it. I’m telling you because you’re…” Hyunggu looked down at their hands, one of Shinwon’s loosely encased in both of his, “because you’re <em> you. </em> And I want you around. I’ve let go of what we used to be. But I don’t want to let go of <em> you.</em>”</p><p>Shinwon smiled at that, the realest one he could muster up ever since he called Hyunggu to meet at that very café, and squeezed lightly on the hands that held his own.</p><p>“It’s Yuto, isn’t it?”</p><p>Hyunggu looked down bashfully. “Yeah.”</p><p>“That’s good. He’ll treat you good.”</p><p><em> Good. </em> That’s the word Shinwon used. Not <em> better, </em> because this wasn’t about him anymore. It was about Hyunggu. Hyunggu deserved <em> good. </em> Hyunggu deserved to love and be loved, without comparing it to something he wasn’t even sure <em> was </em>love. He deserved that, and more.</p><p>Shinwon was sure he was smiling so stupidly at Hyunggu, so full of love, but Hyunggu pulled him in for a hug and he didn’t exactly know what was happening until he asked.</p><p>“Am I crying?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Shinwonie. Are you?”</p><p>His tone is teasing; Shinwon can almost hear the sly little smirk he does, can almost see the way only the corners of Hyunggu’s mouth are parted ever so slightly. It only makes Shinwon cry more.</p><p>“Is it okay if I am?”</p><p>“Of course,” Hyunggu replied; Shinwon hugged him even tighter because Hyunggu sounded surprised, like Shinwon shouldn’t even have had to ask. </p><p>“It’s just,” Shinwon said, sniffling. “I was the one who hurt you. <em> You </em> shouldn’t be the one consoling <em> me.”</em></p><p>“I know you hurt me. But it’s gonna be okay. Has anyone told you you’re gonna be okay? Because you deserve to know that, too. Not just me.” Hyunggu hugged him tighter. “Not just me.”</p><p>Really, Shinwon wouldn’t have minded staying in that moment forever, because no one had actually spoken those words to him before Hyunggu. No one had tried to tell him that he had the right to feel that pain, to have a hard time moving on; everyone had told him he should just suck it up because <em> he </em> was the one who broke it off in the first place, never understanding that he just needed to stop breaking Hyunggu’s heart, that he knew Hyunggu would be much happier when he wasn’t trapped in their pretending, their endless dance. Shinwon loved him. In that moment he knew that he <em> did. </em> He wasn’t pretending. It was love. But maybe <em>just </em>love simply wasn’t enough to make them work. </p><p>Hyunggu pulled away, just enough so he could see Shinwon’s now-reddened face, and he flicked away the persistent stream of tears with his thumb. Shinwon did his best not to lean into it, plastering a wobbly smile on his face instead.</p><p>“I hope you get to move on soon, Shinwonie. I hope you’re okay soon. I really, <em> really </em>hope you are. You deserve it so much.”</p><p>Shinwon simply nodded, not feeling bold enough to agree or say <em> thank you</em>, but he locked the words away somewhere safe anyway, in case the day came that he could let himself believe them. </p><p>“It was nice to see you again,” Shinwon uttered, and he meant it; just not in the way he thought he would when he walked into the doors of the café, just a few minutes ago. He got down from the stool, ready to head out. </p><p>Just when Shinwon had his back turned, Hyunggu called out for him. “Shinwon.”</p><p>He turned back, of course he did, and Hyunggu was just looking at him, shoulders slumped like he didn’t know what to say either. But Shinwon knew that Hyunggu probably felt it too<em> — </em>the weight of unsaid words, the unsureness that hung in the air after everything that had just transpired. He knew there was something to hold onto but neither of them had said <em>what</em>, and Shinwon tried to fill in that gap. He figured now was as good a time as any to look at Hyunggu and finally be <em>sure</em>, to stop lying and pretending and just <em>do. </em>So, he does.</p><p>He picks up the pink sweater, holding it tentatively in his hands before he speaks.</p><p>“Actually… you think I can keep this?”</p><p>Hyunggu takes a second before a smile flashes across his face. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it’s soft and real and it glows, and Hyunggu knows what Shinwon means.</p><p>“Yeah. I want you to.”</p><p>Shinwon takes one last look at him, says his final words, and they hold more behind them than the last time they slipped from his mouth.</p><p>“Will you be fine?”</p><p>“I will. Will you?”</p><p>Shinwon answers in earnest, and he’s glad it’s not a lie, this time. He’s tired of lying.</p><p>“I will.”</p><p> </p><p>✿°:⋆❆</p><p>Hyunggu waited for Yuto to arrive on his motorcycle. He bounced his knee on the park bench, anxious about what he was going to do, still in disbelief that Yuto actually agreed to meet him here, and so last minute, too. But Hyunggu calmed himself down with deep breaths and his usual mantras, trying to keep himself grounded while thinking of everything: his hopeful encounter with his ex-boyfriend, the endless cycle of confusion that had come with the past seven months since they broke up, the past four since Hyunggu kissed Yuto by the recording room lockers and told him to wait for him, and the <em> ten minutes </em>that Yuto had asked for to get to Hyunggu in time, which was now dwindling into three, and soon will turn into two, one. Zero.</p><p>“Hyunggu,” came Yuto’s deep voice, startling him out of his thoughts, and Hyunggu <em> knew. </em> He knew, when he saw Yuto’s fluffed up hair and slight smirk, that he wanted him, he <em> still </em> wanted him, and he knew that Yuto wanted him back. <em> Still </em> wanted him back. This was it. He was—</p><p>“Finally tired of waiting?”</p><p>Yuto blurted it out like he could read Hyunggu’s thoughts.</p><p>“Hell yes.”</p><p>They crashed into a kiss, more smiling against each other than anything. Adachi Yuto lifted Kang Hyunggu up into the air, firm hands on the smaller boy’s waistline, spinning him around once, then again, then setting him back down, their lips not leaving each other the whole time.</p><p>Somewhere on the other side of the city, Ko Shinwon held a soft, pink sweater close, the ghost of a smile on his lips. It reminded him of kindness, innocence, and a love that was real, even though it was already long gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>scream at me on twt <a href="https://twitter.com/violetholdsme">@violetholdsme</a> or <a href="curiouscat.qa/violetholdsme">curiouscat</a> ! comments and kudos are very much appreciated if you enjoyed this &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>